E-Mail of the Year!!

E-Mail of the Year!!

WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR ANY U.S. PRESIDENT, DEMOCRAT OR REPUBLICAN, GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH?

'My Fellow Americans: As you all know, the defeat of the Iraq regime has been completed.

Since Congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is complete.

This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces from Iraq . This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now time to begin the reckoning.

Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is short . The United Kingdom , Spain , Bulgaria , Australia , and Poland are some of the countries listed there.

The other list contains every one not on the first list. Most of the world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening.

Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases indefinitely. The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war. THEN EVERY YEAR THEREAFTER It'll GO TO OUR SOCIAL SECURITY SYSTEM SO IT WONT GO BROKE IN 20 YEARS.

The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world Hell holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.

Need help with a famine ? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France .

In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home. On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth.

Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France or maybe China .

I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France , and Russia . Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring from NATO as well.

I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers and limos be turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York.

A special note to our neighbors: Canada is on List 2. Since we are likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not pissing us off for a change.

Mexico is also on List 2. Its president and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment. I will have a couple thousand extra tanks and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I am going to put 'em? Yep, border security.

Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty - starting now.

We are tired of the one-way highway. Immediately, we'll be drilling for oil in Alaska -which will take care of this country's oil needs for decades to come. If you're an environmentalist who opposes this decision, I refer you to List 2 above: pick a country and move there.

It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying, 'darn tootin.'

Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America . It is time to eliminate homelessness in America . To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thank you guys. We owe you and we won't forget.

To the nations on List 2, a final thought : You might want to learn to speak Arabic.

God bless America .. Thank you and good night.'

If you can read this in English, thank a soldier.

The Drive-Thru Lanes

Drive-thru's were invented for quick and simple convenience, they are supposed to be used for quick and simple transactions and that's all folks, anything else is to be handled in the lobby at the front counter.

For example, today on my way home from work, I stopped at the bank drive-thru to deposit a check, a quick, simple transaction, just like the majority of the rest of the people in the lines. As I pull in there are a couple of other cars following me in, so I pull into the closest lane behind a truck, my first clue that something was going to be bad were the out of state plates on it, of course by the time I realize this, I'm hemmed in by all the other cars that pulled in behind me. As I sit there and watch several cars come and go in the lanes next to me, this guy is carrying on a conversation with the teller, which is not only delaying me, it's also slowing down the other lanes as well, because now the other teller is having to handle not only her two lines, but also the second line of the first teller. I just had to sit there and watch as the carrier traveled back and forth during their several minute discussion. This is not how it's supposed to work.

This is how it's supposed to go.

1. Pull in, put your paperwork in the carrier and send it up.
2. Teller greets you and asks if there's anything else they can do.
3. You reply "No thank you."
4. Teller response with a perky "Have a nice day" comment
5. The carrier comes back and you retrieve the contents and drive off.

It's that simple people, nothing more complicated than that should be done at a drive thru, if the conversation has to be more that a couple of short sentences, you should park and go into the lobby and talk to a teller face to face.

And one other thing, have your stuff in order. My stops at the bank on the way home are planned, so before I leave work, I sit down at my desk and get my stuff in order, I make sure my check is endorsed, I fill out the deposit slip and put it all together, ready to pull out as soon as I pull up to the drive thru, that way it takes the minimum amount of time and I don't delay the other patrons of the drive thru lane who are also in a big hurry to get home and plop their butt in front of the TV for the night.

OK, are we all clear on this subject?

Maybe next time I will give my opinion on the chuckle head that has an issue with just ordering a #2 off the quick menu at a fast food drive thru.

Monday - Monday

Yep, it's Monday. Only thing that really felt good today was the shower I took this morning, LOL.

OK, since it's been awhile and several things have changed I'm gonna post a few highlights tonight.

1. We have a new dog, a Chihuahua that we named Peanut. She strolled into the backyard last Thanksgiving looking like a walking skeleton, we have since fattened her up to a nice normal weight of 2.5 lbs.

2. Our shop has finally relocated into a larger place, we've got five times the shop area now. Of course now we're having to deal with all the pains of moving, it's been about three weeks now and it's still going on. Tomorrow or the next day I'll be moving the last of my equipment, the engraving table, over to the new shop.

3. Mom has moved to West Memphis, a couple of streets over from her sister, we were all happy about that, now it's only about a five to six hour drive as opposed to ten or eleven hours. While that doesn't seem like much, not having all the insanity of going through St. Louis is a blessing.

OK, that's the biggies for now, more later.

Facebook

Yes, I've succumbed to Facebook, now I'm trying to link things all together, more to come later